Left Behind
by CatherineWinner
Summary: Two years ago Michael left Sara bleeding on a hotel bed. Now he wants to reconnect and beg for her forgiveness...but what if she doesn't want to give it? RR! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

He didn't need to look at a calendar to know what day it was. It seemed like this day would be forever imprinted in his mind -on his bones.

It was her birthday, a happy occasion that was never happy. Last year he had made her a single paper flower. He had bribed a guard, using nearly half of his Pungac funds to get the two pieces of paper.

When he laid it on her desk he promised himself that this time next year he'd be giving her a hundred of them.

Now he wouldn't even give her one.

Michael sat in the sand staring out at the ocean, his hands linked before his knees.

A hundred wouldn't be enough.

He needed to think of something that could make up for all the wrongs he'd done her. Michael dropped his head as a tear ran down his face.

Nothing could make up for what he did to her, not flowers, not chocolate, not jewelry.

Nothing could make up for leaving her.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to Jen for all the help

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"So you're going to see her then?"

Michael stopped shoving clothing into a bag and turned. His brother stood in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and a sober expression on his face.

"Do you have a problem with that?" Michael turned back to the job at hand. He knew what happened wasn't his brother's fault but there were times when he blamed him anyways. It was easier then accepting what really happened.

"As long as you don't get caught, no." Lincoln said firmly but calmly.

Michael relaxed, "If I see her it'll be worth it."

"Don't be stupid about this Michael. She might not even want to see you." The older brother dropped onto the bed.

"I have to try at lest." Michael looked at his brother.

Lincoln paused, "What if she's moved on?"

"Moved on?" Michael blinked.

"Michael, it's been two years." Lincoln looked at his brother, "That's a long time."

Michael stared hard at his brother. This wasn't something he liked to think about, but he had. She was a beautiful woman; any man would be lucky to have her, and it had been two years.

"Are you suggesting she married?"

"Moved on doesn't just mean marriage, Michael. But that's always a possibility."

"She wouldn't." he said confidently.

"Why because she wants to be loyal to you?" Lincoln asked harshly.

"No because she knows I still love her." Michael threw back.

Linc leaned back on the bed, "We left in her a cheap motel room with a hole in her stomach, and somehow I don't think she believes you still love her."

Michael felt something in him snap. He threw the half packed bag at his brother.

"YOU left her!! YOU! I wanted to stay! I wanted to be with her! YOU forced me to leave her in that motel!"

"WE had to Michael!" Lincoln stood and threw the bag off him and into a corner. "And you know it. Were you really going to give everything up just to be with her? Were you really going to let everything you had done go to waste just to hold her hand?"

Michael glared furiously at his brother as they stood inches from each other, "Yes! I should have! I love her and I left her!" Lincoln froze, Michael continued. "You didn't want me to have her because you don't have Vee."

Lincoln took step away from his brother, "Go," he whispered.

"Lincoln-I'm sorry." Michael said gently.

"So am I." Lincoln said in the same tone. "Go be with her."

Michael walked to the corner of the room and repacked his bag. He got up and walked to the door.

"Tell her I'm sorry." Lincoln said looking at Michael. "Make sure she knows what really happened. That it really was my idea. That I pressured you into it."

"The final decision was mine." Michael turned to his brother.

Lincoln gave a little smile, "Then how about we both screwed up and we're both sorry?"

"Sounds good." Michael smiled and slowly walked from their beach house.

14 hours later Michael found himself in the middle of nowhere Montana.

He had kept track of her from the moment he reached Panama. He may not have been able to be with her but he'd be damned if he didn't know where she was. He stepped out of the rented car and walked up to a log cabin. It was modest, almost run down. He walked slowly up the gravel path. Breathing seemed to become quite the difficult task. What if she was married? Boyfriend? What if she didn't answer the door? What if she slammed it in his face? What if- Michael stopped. He was on the porch. He took a deep breath; he had broken out of a maximum-security prison, survived being hunted by nearly every government agency in the country. He could survive knocking on this door. Michael lifted a hand but stopped when it started to shake uncontrollable. He curled it into a fist and banged on the door.

Michael studied her door trying desperately to regulate his heartbeat.

"Who is it?" Her voice called out.

Michael flinched, she sounded just as wry as they day he left her.

"An old friend." Amazing-his voice worked.

He heard her feet stop as they approached the door. She wasn't going to open it, he thought immediately. Suddenly the door swung open and Michael forgot all about breathing.

She was wearing a knitted sweater and a pair of fitted jeans. Her hair had grown back to the length he had remember it to be when they first met and the color is back to it's natural red. He studied every inch of her with in the first second. She was healthy. She had put on a little weight to prove that. Her cheeks were flushed and her entire complexion seemed more alive then when he had last seen her. He tried to think if he had ever seen anyone more beautiful.

"Sara," he said on a breath, a breath he had been holding for the past two years.

"Michael." She responded in much the same tone.

They stared at each other in silence for what felt like eternity. Michael fought with the desire to crush her to his chest; he was on the losing end about to take a step toward her when she finally spoke.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was harsh and emotional.

"I needed to see you." He answered quickly, relieved that she hadn't slammed the door yet. There's still time, he reminded himself quickly.

"I have nothing Michael." She whispered her eyes suddenly filling with tears.

"Pardon?" he asked confused.

"I have nothing left to give you, Michael." She dropped her hand from the door handle.

Michael took a step toward her, "Sara…"he started softly.

"I have no job. I have no friends. I have no connections. I'm still a fugitive in most people's eyes so I'm not free to go around and do just anything." Tears fell from her eyes not even bothering to touch her cheek. "I have nothing left to give you Michael."

"Sara-" he lifted a hand to stroke at her cheek but she quickly moved away. "I don't want anything from you. I just want to see you."

Sara lifted her hands to her face and wiped furiously at it, "That's a first." She managed.

Michael dropped his eyes and flinched. "I deserved that."

Sara finished clearing her face of tears and looked up. "No you didn't."

He met her eyes, for a split second hope bloomed, until he felt her hand crash right into his cheek.

"But you did deserve that." She snapped.

For a moment Michael didn't feel the sting of her slap only that her bare skin had made contact with his. He fought back a smile.

"Fair enough," He muttered looking at her, "Could I come in?"

"No," Sara crossed her arms over her chest.

"Sara-" He started.

"It's been two years, Michael. Two years! Do you know how many times I needed you? Yet you choose to come back when everything is finally starting to work out for me. I have a good life here. Not as good as it was before but it's as good as I'm ever going to get. I don't want you to ruin it again." She said coldly eyeing him.

Michael was sure that no one had ever said anything that had hurt him more. He felt his stomach twist and his heartbreak in the same second.

"I'm not here to ruin anything. I'm just here to see you." He whispered bracing a hand on the doorframe. He lifted his eyes to hers; her's softened ever so softly.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Two hours." She whispered retreating back into her house.

Michael released a heavy sigh. It was a start, given all that had happened it was the best he could ever hope for. He followed her into the cabin; it seemed to fit her personality completely. "This is nice."

"Not really but it's the best I could do." She lead him into a tiny living room and sat on an over stuffed chair. Michael sat on a love seat opposite of her.

"How are you?"  
Sara stared through him. "Fine. How's Panama."

"Empty." He answered truthful, hoping she understood just how empty.

"How's Lincoln and LJ?" She asked dropping her glaze.

Michael cracked a smile, she always did that when she was sincere about her question. She had a hard time with people seeing her emotions. "Well. They miss you."

"I miss them too, especially LJ. How is he?" she looked up again.

"Quite the surfer, to be honest." A little smile appeared on his face. "That boy would do just about anything to impress the girls. We know half the hospital's staff by name."

"Was he seriously hurt?" She asked leaning forward, concern and panic written over her face.

"No…no nothing like that. Just minor injures." He assured her quickly.

Sara dropped against the chair, "Thank god. He's been through enough. So does he have a girlfriend yet?"

Michael dropped his glaze, "I wouldn't really know."

"Why?" Sara studied him curiosity.

"We don't speak all that much. He-" Michael stumbled and looked away, "he hasn't forgiven us for what we did to you."

"He isn't the only one." Her guard was back up. Michael fought back tears; he had barely noticed that when they spoke of LJ her guard dropped a little now they already back up.

"Nothing I ever say or do is going to make up for what we did is it?" He asked, his eyes still closed.

Silence filled the room for a full minute, he was sure that she had left. He lifted his head and found her sitting in the same place. Tears ran quickly down her cheek.

"It could have-if it had just been me."

Michael stared at her in confusion. "I don't understand."

Sara bit her lip furiously; not bothering to hide the tears or even try to stop them.

"I was pregnant."

Please review so I know what you all think-thx for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own prison break-if I did it'd be all about Misa…

Reviews are great-thanks! I love to know that people are reading my work.

Again my thanks to Jen for betaing-

"_We have to get her to a hospital!" Michael screamed from the back seat._

"_We can't Mike! You know that!" Linc yelled back, "LJ find us a hotel."_

_Michael's headshot up, he stared angrily at his brother and nephew in the front seat._

"_We don't need a hotel we need a goddman hospital. She's bleeding and I can't stop it."_

_For once the older brother was the one with the cool head, "Michael, we can get the bullet out ourselves, we've seen her do it a hundred times and we have all the stuff. We'll stay at a hotel until she recovers then we'll get back on the room."_

"_She could die Lincoln." Lincoln met his little brother's eyes in the revere mirror. "She could die because of me."_

"_She won't, Michael. She won't die, we're going to take care of her."_

"_Dad! Turn right, there's a motel five miles that way."_

_Michael knew his brother and nephew were discussing how to get the bullet out of her stomach and he knew he should be part of that conversation. Instead he dropped his eyes back down to the women on his lap and replayed the moments that lead up to it. _

_Mahone caught them off guard, or rather caught Sara and LJ off guard. He offered them freedom for the location of their companions. He gave them one chance then fired his gun. Sara knew he would do it, she knew how unstable he was, so she was prepared when he fired on LJ and took the bullet instead. Michael and Lincoln had arrived two minutes after. Lincoln had take care of Mahone to an extent Michael didn't care to know, he was completely consumed by the women laying bleeding on the pavement._

_Michael bent his head into her hair; it smelled of sweat and blood. He wanted to gag. He had smelt that enough in prison and on himself, he never wanted to smell it on her._

"_I'm so sorry," he whispered placing a wet kiss on her forehead._

_He realized he was sobbing, he tried to calm himself down-for her sake._

"_We're here!" His nephew called out._

_Linc was suddenly at his side pushing him out of the way, and taking Sara into the Hotel room. Michael had wanted to keep up, he wanted to be there for her. He dropped back into the back seat of the car. He couldn't get up, he couldn't help her, and he couldn't even stop his hands from shaking. He stared hard at the bloodstain that now covered the back seat. Her blood…her blood shed for his nephew._

_Twenty minutes later his brother came slowly out of the room._

_Michael watched his brother walk towards him; he felt his breath catch in his throat. He couldn't read his brother's expression. _

_Lincoln sat in the back seat and looked solemnly at his brother._

"_She's going to be fine." _

_Michael gasped for breath, tears streamed down his face. "Thank you," he whispered to Lincoln, "Thank you."_

"_I hate to do this to you man, but I have to."_

_Michael looked up, "What's wrong? How bad is she?"_

"_Sara's going to be fine, Michael. It's not her I'm worried about. It's us. I talked to LJ and he's freaked out. Mahone knows he got Sara, I wasn't able to finish the job so he's still coming after us."_

"_That's the lest of my concerns right now." Michael said finally bringing himself to get out of the back seat._

"_Well it shouldn't be." Lincoln stepped out of the car. "If we get caught this was all for nothing. After everything we gave up-Michael I can't go back."_

"_I'm not suggesting we do." Michael snapped._

_Lincoln followed his brother into the hotel room. He watched as Michael dropped to his knees beside the bed and began stroking the doc's hair, kissing her forehead and whispered comforting words. _

"_I'm so sorry," Michael, whispering, his voice dry and cracking. He kissed her forehead again and again, "This will never happen again. When we get to Panama we're going to sit on the beach and do nothing for hours. We're going to spend weekends in bed sleeping. I'm going to make you dinner until you're sick of my cooking. We're going to lay on the hammock until we're both sun burnt." _

"_Mike, she needs to rest. She needs to be in one position for as long as possible." Lincoln said slowly._

"_Then she will be. We'll stay for a few days-"_

"_We can't Michael." Lincoln said heavily. "We can't stay."_

_Michael stared at Sara for a moment, then tilted his head to look as his brother, "What are you saying?" he whispered his voice dangerous._

"_You know what I'm saying." Linc responded sadly._

" _No I don't because the brother I know wouldn't even think like that." Michael stood and faced his brother._

"_We can't save everyone, Michael. But we can save ourselves." Lincoln pleaded softly._

"_And what? We just leave her here to bleed to death or get captured? Do you know what they'll do to her, Lincoln? The same thing they did to Veronica!"_

"_I know that, Michael. Trust me I do. But I can't let my son die either. Or you for that matter."_

_Michael froze, "I'm not leaving her."_

"_We have less then a day to get across the border. We could make it if we left right now. Or we could pick her up and pack her into the car and just hope that the constant jumping doesn't reopen her wound."_

_Michael turned back to the women laying on the bed. He studied her. She was pale from the lose of blood but he could still see bits of color trying to get out. He knew it was only a matter of time before she was well again. She would be well again-if she wasn't injured further. Michael dropped a hand and stroked her cold cheek._

"_I can't just leave her, Lincoln."_

"_They won't be as hard on her as they will us, Michael. I won't allow my son to go to prison for my crimes." Lincoln said firmly._

"_She'll pay for our crimes then." Michael whispered as tears built in his eyes._

"_This isn't going to be easy, Mike, But this has to be done." _

"What?" he whispered staring wide eyed at her.

Sara locked eyes with him. "I was pregnant." She repeated.

Michael shook his head in confusion. That couldn't be. Yes they had had sex but he would have known. He would have felt it. What happened? A realization hit him. He gagged on air, "Oh my god." His head was suddenly in his heads. He killed their baby.

Sara felt the warm tears fall continuously down her cheek. She watched him cry for a few moments. "Now you know why I can't just move on." She muttered.

Michael lifted his head an inch from his hands, tears streamed down his face.

"Oh Sara." He groaned.

Sara closed her eyes her heart broke. She couldn't stand Michael in this much pain. Even after everything that had happened she still loved him.

She opened her eyes again when she heard him stand and fumble towards her. He dropped at her feet and captured her wet hands in his.

"Sara-" he whispered, bring her hands to his lips.

Sara watched with pity as he cried and grasped for her. She let him sob into her hands and even rubbed palms with her hands. She bent her head towards his and laid it upon his. "I'm so sorry." She whispered.

"Don't," he lifted his head and stared at her. "Don't you dare apologize! This is all my fault. If I had taken better care of you, if I had stayed-" another moan cut him off.

"I'm sorry because you lost this child too." She said her own tears residing a little. Sara was even more sorry that she had told him. There was nothing he could do with the information expect pile it up on the rest of his guilt. She bit a lip. "I just thought you might have wanted to know."

"Sara-" he lifted a hand to her cheek. "I'm _so_ sorry."

Sara dropped her head. "I know Michael." She closed her eyes and remembered waking up bloody, in that cold motel room bed realizing what had happened. Then realizing she had lost their child. "But that doesn't change what happened." Her voice grew firm.

"I know-" He responded quickly. "God I know that. But you have to know, I would have done anything to change what happened."

"Not anything, Michael." She whispered sadly. "We can't change history."

Michael pulled away from her, "I didn't know about our baby-" he stopped himself.

"Would that have changed?" She whispered facing him again. "Let's be realistic here Michael. You'd do anything to protect your _real _family, the rest of the world be damned."

Michael stared at her, "I'm truly sorry, Sara." He slid a hand across her lap toward her hand. She moved it quickly out of his reach; Michael took the hit and stood.

"I'll..go." he didn't want to leave, he didn't want to give her a chance to hate him more. He wanted to stay right where he had been. Curled up on her, feeling her hand in his.

Sara sat in her chair, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. "I'm so sorry Sara. If you believe that or not I am." His voice was drench in the emotions that flooded his body.

"Please leave." She muttered, a single tear running down her cheek. She didn't look at him. "I think it would be for the best."

"Fine." He agreed gently, "But I want you to know that I still lo-"

"Don't." Sara said quickly looking at him, "Whatever else…don't lie to me again. You are NOT allowed to say those words to me!"

Michael bit back another sob, why couldn't she just stab him? Get it over with? Sara Tendcredi killed with her eyes. Michael stared down at her, he killed their child. She had ever right to hate him.

Michael walked himself to the door opened it then turned back. He stared at the love of his life sitting alone. He had done this to her. Ruined her life, forced her to run, killed her father, killed their child then left her for dead. He didn't deserve her forgiveness. He didn't deserve the breath in his lungs. "I love you." He said just loud enough for her to hear then crossed the threshold of her door.

"I'll be back in by tomorrow night." He spoke in a monotone voice, walking through the airport towards his gate.

"So I take it it didn't go well then." Lincoln's voice said gently on the other end.

Michael stared at the airport bar, "No it didn't." he replied.

"Ok, bro-"Lincoln said sadly, "I'll be at the airport when you get in."

"Thanks." He muttered before slamming the phone closed and finishing the walk to the bar. He pulled up a chair before he could think better of this. What was to think better of? He had ruined not only her life but also the life of their unborn child. Michael stared at the bar tender._ Their-unborn-child._ Child.

He nodded his head, "Whiskey."

He lifted the shot glass to his lips, felt the warm liquor slide down his throat. Once upon a time he would have been grateful that at lest his brother and nephew were safe, since they were the final goal all along so it only makes sense that they were the most important people. The image of Sara laying bleeding on that bed shot through his mind.

"Another." He demanded softly.

His actions had resulted in so many ruined and lost lives the guilt nearly consumed him. But the idea that Sara had been injured-the concept that she had been carrying his child and lost it because of him…it was more then he could bare.

"Another- Fuck it, Leave the bottle." He snapped, downing another shot and refilling his own. She was the only woman he'd ever loved. He'd ruined her. And killed their child.

Michael swallowed another shot, and for the first time in Michael Scofield's life he wanted to self-destruct. He filled another shot.

17 hours later Michael woke up on a bench in Panama. His tie from his suit was MIA as were the first three buttons of his shirt. His pants were covered in bits of vomit, and his shoes looked completely drenched in it. He groaned loudly and dropped his head back, his mouth tasted of alcohol-induced vomit.

"Going for my look, bro?" Lincoln's voice said from a very far distances.

Michael titled his head up and saw his brother standing a foot away.

"Go away-" he muttered, his throat cracking.

"Do I even want to know how long you've been like this?" His brother asked studying him.

"Let's see…since Montana." Michael let his head drop.

Lincoln released a heavy sigh and sat beside him, "You saw her then?"

"Umm…yeah." Michael answered closing his eyes.

"And?" Lincoln promoted annoyed. "What happened?"

"Came, saw and got kick out." He answered sarcastically.

"She wasn't ready, Michael-give her more time." Lincoln patted his brother's shoulder.

"Oh no-" Michael lifted his head and glazed at his brother. "She told me-"

Lincoln watched a look of pure horror flash through his brother's eyes.

"She told you what?" He panicked.

"That she was pregnant." Michael gasped, tears beaming in his eyes. "And that I killed our child." He lifted his eyes toward his brother, "She was carrying my child, Linc. I was going to be a father. But then-"

"Ah shit man," Lincoln said quickly, "I'm so sorry." He tightened his grip on his shoulder. "I really am."

"That's what I said." Michael muttered.

"I didn't know you two even had time-" Lincoln dropped off. "Damn it, I'm sorry."

"Oh we made time," A little smile attached it's his mouth. "It was great, god I love her. It was the best night of my life. And I'm not talking about the sex; I'm talking about actually spending time with her. We laid in bed for hours just talking, not really doing anything. I found out she doesn't like chocolate, and the smell of roses makes her nose twitch. For those few hours we weren't Michael Scofield escape convict and Sara Tendcredi ex doctor. We were simply Michael and Sara." Michael dropped his head sadly, "Now she hates me again. I thought we were making progress…and I guess we were. Up until I left her half dead-"

"Alright bro-" Lincoln stood, "That's enough. Come on, we're going to get you home, into bed and tomorrow you'll have a good cup of coffee and figure out a plan to get her back."

Michael stared at his brother, "You don't get it do you? There's no getting her back. There's no happily ever after for Michael and Sara, there's nothing!" he screamed. "And there never fucking will be!" He stood and waved angrily at his brother. "This was all for you! So now you're happy! You get your son, what the else matters?"

Lincoln gave a heavy sigh curled his fist and punched his brother square in the face. Linc the sink had sunk again. He watched his brother crumple to the ground, "Sorry man, but you deserved it."

Lincoln laid his brother on the little bed and began taking off his shoes. "Damn man, you swimming in shit?" he scrunched his nose.

By the time he finished Michael was relatively clean and tucked contently under the blankets. "Get some sleep little brother," he said fondly stepping toward the door.

"Sara-" Michael groaned, stopping Lincoln's escape of the room.

Lincoln turned to stare at his brother. "You really love her don't you?" he muttered. His brother's words echoed in his mind. _YOU left her!! YOU! I wanted to stay! I wanted to be with her! YOU forced me to leave her in that motel!_ His guilt over everyone that had been hurt because of him nearly matched that of Michael's. But the difference, Michael risked everything to save _his _life, he had risked Sara's to save his own.

"Sara-" Michael moaned again, reaching out for the invisible women.

Lincoln rested his head against the doorframe as thoughts ran through his mind. After a few moments he lifted his head and looked back to the man groaning in bed.

"Alright, Michael, time for a little payback."


	4. Chapter 4

"_We have to get her to a hospital!" he could hear his brother screaming from the back seat. Lincoln gasped back, panic. No they can't. He thought to himself quickly, _

"_We can't Mike! You know that!" He yelled, "LJ find us a hotel!" he told his son._

_Sara had taught him the basics of getting a bullet out, they had spent so much time on the run together that it had come up. Much to her credit she had given both him and LJ a crash course on the matter._

"_We don't need a hotel we need a hospital! She's bleeding and I can't stop it!" Michael yelled. Linc glanced quickly in the review mirror. His brother was in pieces. Lincoln doubted that Michael could be of any help with the state he was in now. He was grasping at her body trying to stop the blood but his mind wasn't on the task, it was on the idea that she could die._

"_She could die Lincoln," his brother said sadly meeting Lincoln's eyes. "She could die because of me."_

"_She won't, Michael. She won't die, we're going to take care of her." He told his brother, willing what little courage he had left to be in his voice._

"_Dad! Turn right, there a motel five miles that way." LJ's voice broke his thoughts._

"_Ok," Lincoln turned to his son, "Listen up LJ. When we get there your going to get us a room and as much ice as you can. Then get your ass back to the room and help me. Your uncle Mike isn't going to be much of a help so we're going to have to get that thing out of her." He glanced back at his brother then his son, "Sara taught us what we need to help her. We can do this."_

"_I've…I've never done anything like this, dad." LJ said, fear crippling his voice._

_Lincoln spared his son a brief smile, "Neither have I but we can't let her die."_

_LJ dropped his head between his knees to hide his tears from his father, "This is all my fault."_

"_Don't-" Linc laid a rough hand on his back, "This is not your fault. It's that bastered Mahone. And he's going to pay, but right now we have to save Sara."_

_LJ lifted his head and turned to his father, "But what if-"_

"_No what if's. No nothing. I'm not going to let her die, and neither are you." Lincoln gestured behind him, "Right now your Uncle's a mess, and I can't count on him. But I need you. So get it together." He snapped roughly._

_LJ bit his lip and nodded, "We're here!" _

_LJ didn't wait for the car to come to a complete halt before he jumped out and headed for the office. Seconds later he was running back with a key yelling the room number at the top of his lungs. "12! Dad, 12!"_

_Lincoln was already out of the driver's seat and pulling open the back door. He didn't wait for his brother to help him get Sara out. Instead he pushed his brother back and reached for the woman himself. He could see the wound from the bullet and the blood seeping out of it, he ran toward the room. _

_Ten minutes later he was digging in the wound with a knife, LJ was applying pressure with cubes of ice. Lincoln spared his son a glance, "Hang in there, we're almost done."_

_Seconds later the bullet was pried out. LJ quickly wrapped the wound as tightly as possible. Lincoln washed as much blood off her as he could then washed his hands._

_He walked out of the bathroom and stared at the woman on the bed. His son was at her face while applying pressure to her wound as tears streamed down his face. He knew that his son had become attached to Sara. She was almost like a second mom to him. Lincoln lifted his arm to see his watch. "Shit," he whispered to himself._

_He knew what had to be done. It was always there, always in the back of his mind. He knew he had to save his brother and son. Michael had gotten him this far but it was up to him to get them to the end of the road, Even if it meant hurting someone._

"_Fuck." Lincoln whispered angrily. _

"_Dad?" LJ looked over at him._

"_Clean up her wound a little better, reapply the bandage then get your ass back in the car." He snarled. With that Lincoln hurried out of the motel room and to the car determined to save their lives. _

Lincoln found himself on Sara Tencredi front porch. He sighed heavily before banging his fist on the door. This was the last place he wanted to be. His guilt over what he had done to her was still keeping him up at night, but if he ever wanted forgiveness this was only place he would get it.

Sara swung open the door and stopped in surprise. "Lincoln!"

"Hey Sara." He said slowly.

"Hi." She blinked awkwardly. "I was expecting Michael."

"Yeah well he's not really in any condition to do anything but vomit and sleep." He looked her up and down, she looked healthy, and he felt a wave of relief wash over him.

"What do you mean?" she asked quickly, "Maybe you'd better come in,"

"Yeah, thanks." He followed her into the house. "Nice place."

"Thanks." She turned back to him, "Can I get you anything?"

"Something hot, that damn plane trip was exhausting." He followed her to the kitchen. "How'd you afford all this?" Lincoln looked around the little cabin, its outsides looked run down and almost abandoned but the inside was nearly brand new.

"It seemed that my father gave me quite the inheritance once I was able to use my credit card again." Sara explained as she prepared them tea.

"Umm…that's cool." Lincoln replied.

Sara laughed, "yeah."

They stood in her kitchen in silence until Sara turned to him. "So what are you doing here?"

"I need you to forgive us and come home." He answered quickly.

Sara stared at him then burst out laughing. "What?" Lincoln demanded. "What's funny about that?"

"Lincoln," she regained herself, "first off. Panama is NOT my home. This is. Second do you really think I'd just forgive him for leaving me half dead on a crappy motel bed, just like that?" she snapped her fingers.

Lincoln rubbed the back of his neck, "Sara, there's something you should know."

"Whatever it is I don't care, Lincoln. It's all over and I'd like to just move on."

"You have to know this Sara. You can't be mad at Michael for something he didn't do." He felt his nerves jumble again, he was a hard-core ex-con he could handle this.

"Lincoln, you're his brother and I know you love him-" she turned to him.

"I left you." He blurted. "It was my decision."

"What?" Sara whispered staring at him.

"I'm really sorry Sara. But we were being followed and we only had a few hours to make it across the border. There was no way you would have survived the trip." He looked at her trying to read her thoughts. "I'm so sorry. I know we screwed you pretty bad…but I had-"

"How could you?" she whispered, stunned and hurt.

"I had to save my son and brother. We were four hours away from complete and utter freedom. If we had stayed any longer we were all going to go back to prison. I couldn't do that to my son, Sara. You know that. And Michael. He couldn't have survived another stint in prison."

"The one for the many," Sara whispered.

Lincoln dropped his eyes, "I've regretted it ever since."

Sara laid her hands over her face then released a heavy sigh. "I would have told you to leave me. I know that LJ and Michael couldn't go back. I understand that." She met his eyes softly, "I would have forced you to leave me. But what I can't handle is that I lost my baby."

Lincoln swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yeah, Michael told me about that."

"That's what I can't get over. If it had just been me, it would have never been even an issue…but I was pregnant." She could feel her lower lip quivering. She looked at him, "I was pregnant!"

Lincoln dropped his head, "If I had know-"

"That hurt-so much. But what hurt even more was that he left me so easily." She felt her tears fall down her cheeks. "As selfish as that sounds it's true. He was the only thing that ever kept me going, then he was gone and I was alone. I didn't even have my baby. He just walked away like I was nothing."

"First off…"Lincoln started his own tears causing his voice to thicken. "Michael didn't want to leave you. I had to drag him away from you, right before we were crossing the border he tired to turn back and I had to knock him out. I thought my days of beating the hell out of him for his own good were over." Lincoln rubbed his head quickly, "Sara, I don't know what I can say that'll make you understand that he never wanted to leave you. He spent every day for the last two years doing nothing but planning on how to get back to you. You should have seen his face when he realized it was your birthday the other week. He was going to see you even if it lead him right back to Fox River."

"Stop, Linc-" Sara lifted a hand, "Just please stop."

"You need to understand that he still loves you. That he never stopped." Lincoln instated.

Sara studied him, "I don't know what you want to hear?"

"I want you to say that you'll come home with me. I know you think Panama isn't your home. But it is. We are you family."

"I can't just drop everything I've held in for the past two years and live happily ever after," she snapped.

"Fine. But blame me. You can make me walk on coals-throw daggers at me. I don't care. Michael and LJ don't deserve your anger. I was the one who forced them to leave you!" Lincoln responded quickly, waving his hands.

"Lincoln-" She glared, "I'm-"

"What? Your what? So I fucked up? Fine! I do that all the time! Just stop blaming Michael, he's crazy about you and not being with you is driving him into a pit that's meant for me."

Sara flinched, Lincoln continued softly. "He's been drinking since he got home the other day. In fact he started drinking the moment he left you. When I found him he was covered in vomit. All our lives I've never so much as seen him get tipsy."

"You're joking," Sara, whispered shocked.

"No." Lincoln crossed his arms over his chest. "Now tell me he doesn't love you. Tell me it was easy for him to leave you."

Sara walked to her table and dropped into a chair, "He shouldn't drink."

"No shit Sherlock." Lincoln sat next to her at the table.

"You shouldn't let him." She looked at him. "Make him stop."

Lincoln stared at her, "Sara, it's the only he can do to get you out of his mind. Do you even care about the nightmares he's had for the past two years?"

Her eyes filled with concern, "Of course I care, but there's nothing I can do about it."

"Yeah right. The only thing that helps me with my guilt is LJ. When I see him hitting on girls and surfing I know it was all worth it. But what does he have?"

"He did all this to save your life." She threw back quickly.

"And he lost the woman he loves." Lincoln glared.

"Why are you making this my fault?" Sara shouted as she stood. "I wanted to be with him-I wanted to be with you all in Panama. But I was left-"

"I left you Sara." Lincoln stood. "You're taking your anger out on him when you should be taking it out on me."

Sara stared at him for a full minute. "You need to go."

"Sara-" he sighed.

"No! You need to go, Lincoln." She started toward the door.

"Why are you being like this?" He fell into step behind her.

"Because I have my own life now and I can't kept throwing it away from people who don't really care about me." She answered not facing him.

"Sara-did you hear a word I just said?" He gasped.

She pulled open the door, "Please leave Lincoln."

"You're being a bitch for no reason at all!" He swore glaring down at her.

"No reason at all! I LOST my child!" She yelled, "I lost my child because I was in the wrong situation at the wrong time! I won't go back."

Lincoln glared furiously at her, "You aren't the only one who lost a child. Michael did too." he walked out of her home and towards the car. He reached for the door handle when he heard her voice call his name. He looked up to see her running toward him; he stared in confusion as she threw her arms around his huge frame. Her arms circled his waist, pressing her body tightly into his. It took him seconds to respond, he lowered his head to her shoulder.

"Tell LJ I miss him, and I love him so much. Tell him to think of school and not just fooling around." She pulled away from him a little and pressed both hands to his cheeks, tears were running down her cheeks, "Tell Michael I understand, and I'm sorry. But I can't go back. Tell him he needs to move on. Tell him anything just don't let him keep drinking." She patted his cheek fondly, "And take care of yourself, it's up to you to take care of them." She whispered.

Lincoln found himself on the verge of tears as he listened to her, "Sara."

"Tell Michael—that I loved him so deeply…that part of me always will." Her body was shaking with sobs now. "But I can't go back to that world. I just can't."

"Sara…"Lincoln held her waist tightly, "Come with me."

She shook her head, "No." She stepped away completely breaking contact. She wiped at her face. "Now go."

Lincoln stared at her. "Sara."

"Go Lincoln and don't come back." She wrapped her arms around herself and started back to her home.

Lincoln watched her disappear back into her house as he stood there in shock.

Thanks for reading-as always reviews are wonderful!


	5. Chapter 5

LJ was bored with flirting with the flight attendant. Yeah she was giving him more peanuts then the rest of the passengers and yeah she was pretty damn hot, But he had more important things to concentrate on. Like Sara.

How in the hell was he going to get her to come back with him? His father had passed along her message to him when he arrived at home a few days ago, that was all LJ needed to get his own plane ticket to Montana. The moment he had learned of the baby guilt had started eating him alive. It was all his fault. Mahone had been aiming for him.

"_Drop it or you're a dead man," Her voice rang through the little party store._

"_Your trying to starve me to death aren't you?" He dropped the candy bar in his hand._

_Sara reached into the fridges and pulled out bottles of water. "Now why would I do that?"_

_LJ smirked, "Cause then you'd only have to get rid of my dad and then you and Uncle Mike can finally get it on!"_

"_LJ!" She scolded, "Shut up!" Her face was bright red._

"_Got ya!" He laughed walking past her to grab a soda._

"_You're a little brat you know that," She smiled at him._

"_Yeah but one you can't get rid of." He threw back._

_Sara released another laugh, "Don't forget to grab those chips your dad likes. All we need is for him to throw another tantrum if he doesn't get his junk food."_

"_Yeah, just like Uncle Mike's tantrum that you guys had to share our room last night. I mean," Lj grabbed the bag of chips, "I've never seen a man more pissed off in my life."_

_LJ turned to her, she was blushing again. "Come to think about it, you weren't that happy either."_

"_Fine, get the damn candy." Sara walked toward the register._

_LJ grabbed the bar and followed her._

_The woman behind the counter smiled at them as they placed their purchase on the counter. "Son or nephew?" she asked._

_Sara glanced at her, "Pardon Me?"_

"_Mom," LJ wrapped a proud arm around her shoulder. _

_Sara turned to LJ as she understood the question. "Uh…yeah…son."_

"_He's handsome. You must be very proud."_

"_Just bursting." Sara muttered handing the woman cash._

_LJ pocketed his candy bar as they exited the store, the bag of food in his left hand._

"_I can't believe that! Do I look old enough to have a son your age!" Sara fumed lightly._

_He grinned and came up close to her, "Ah, come on mom. Don't be to hard on yourself, at lest Uncle Mike thinks you're hot."_

_Sara slapped his chest, "Your worse then your father, you know that!"_

"_I'll take that as a compliment." LJ smiled, _

"_Don't." _

_Both laughed happily as they reached a bench._

"_How much longer till they pick us up?" LJ unwrapped the candy._

"_Well, if your Uncle is on time, which he always is, two minutes and fifteen seconds." Sara answered glancing at her watch._

_LJ nodded and bit into the candy, he atet happily for a moment then offered the bar to her._

"_Ugh-" she lifted a hand to push it away, "No way. I'm gaining to much weight as it is."_

"_God-what's it with women and worrying about their weight?" He took another bit._

_Sara smiled at him and leaned it, "When you're traveling with the man of your dreams, appearances are important." _

"_He doesn't seem to care what you look like." LJ smiled at her, "I mean a few nights ago you were slobbering all over him and he still looked at you like he was going to eat you alive."_

_Sara laughed, "Well thank you LJ. That makes me feel better…I think."_

_LJ finished off his candy with another bite then turned back to Sara. _

"_Sara there's something I've been meaning to ask you." He forced seriousness into his tone._

_Sara blinked then nodded, "What?"_

_He leaned forward slightly as if seeking privacy, "Do you think Panama will have enough condoms for you and Uncle Mike?" _

"_LJ Burrows!" Sara used her bottle of water to hit him upside the head. "I can't believe you! You should be ashame-" suddenly everything changed. It started with her expression, it changed from happy and loving to scared and worried._

"_Run," she whispered, "LJ run!" _

_LJ turned; Mahone was getting out of his car and running towards them. A gun in his hand. "Sara Tencredi, LJ Burrows! Don't move. I'm not after you!"  
LJ dropped the bag of food and took off, he reached behind him to grab Sara. But she wasn't there. She was on the other side, blocking him from Mahone's view._

"_I don't want you! Don't make me do this!" The agent's voice yelled again._

"_Keep going, LJ. Michael-" she was panting, "Michael will be here soon."_

"_Stop!" The warning came again._

"_Keep going LJ." She encouraged._

_Suddenly a shot ran out and LJ felt his legs pump hard. He looked into the distances and saw his father's car approaching. "Sara! There's dad and Uncle-" he turned behind to tell her. She wasn't there. _

_She was crumpled on the ground a few feet back. Blood seeping from her body, already creating a pool._

"_SARA!!" He screamed, starting toward her._

_All of suddenly Uncle Mike was jumping out of the car rushing toward her and his father was chasing Mahone down with the car._

LJ lifted his head from the taxi's back seat.

"We're here kid." The drivers said angrily, it had been a long drive.

"Thanks man." He tossed money at the man and got out.

LJ always wondered why Montana. It was a boring state. Why Montana? He pulled his bags out of the trunk then slammed it and waved for the taxi to take off.

He watched for a few moments as the man retreated back down the driveway.

He lifted the bags and made his way up to the porch. He didn't even have a chance to drop them before the door open.

"Linc-" Sara swung open the door.

"Hey Sara!" LJ greeted with a huge smile.

Sara stared at him, "LJ?" she whispered.

He nodded, she had been expecting his father again.

"OH my god." She threw the door open and wrapped her arms around him.

He bent down and returned the embrace with an emotional smile, "I missed you too." He said when he heard her crying.

"Oh my god." She whispered again clinging to him tighter.

"Hey, hey," he pulled back and patted her shoulder. "It's Ok."

She smiled at him, tears smearing her mascara, "No it's not. You're huge. What the hell have you been eating?" She patted his cheeks.

"A lot of fruit. Panama's full of it." He answered with a smile.

"Fruit's good for you. Makes you tall and handsome!" Sara wiped a hand under her eye.

"Here I thought I already was." He replied.

Sara dropped her hand and laughed, "And that's why I missed you. Your enormous ego!"

"That's all?" LJ asked playfully.

Sara looked to his feet. "What are those?"

"Guess you've been in isolation so long you've forgotten what bags look like." He bent down to pick them up.

Sara used his lowered statues to smack his head. "I know what they are. I want to know why you look like your moving in."

Lj swung a bag onto his shoulder, "Well I was kind of hoping I could."

Sara coughed. "Pardon me?"

"What you don't want me." He asked faking a pout.

"That's not what I meant." She eyed him, "Does your father know you're here?"

LJ dropped his eyes, all playfulness gone. "No."

"LJ!" she gasped, "What are you thinking? He's probably out of his mind with worry."

"Yeah, well I don't care." LJ said staring at her.

Sara stopped, "Come in."

He dropped his bags at the entrance of the cabin and followed her into the kitchen.

"What are you hungry for? I don't have much, I wasn't really expecting an eighteen year old eating machine." She pulled open her fridge.

"Anything's fine." He sat at her table. "Aren't you going to yell at me?"

"Not yet." She pointed at her phone, "but you've got ten seconds to place a call or your going to get the beating of your life."

LJ smirked but stood. "As if you could reach me."

Sara smiled and threw a napkin at his head. LJ dialed his father's number.

"Dad?" he asked when he heard the phone pick up.

"LJ? Where the hell are you? I've been-"

"I'm with Sara." LJ responded quickly.

"Sara? As in Sara Tendcredi?" Lincoln asked, confused. "How the hell you'd get there?"

"I used the money Uncle Mike gave us…" LJ looked at Sara who was trying to give him space. "Listen, dad. I know you're mad. But I wanted to see her."

"Your right I'm fucking mad. You just took off-anything could have happened to you! And why are the hell are you with Sara?"

"I—I can't say right now dad. But I'll be home in a little while." LJ said slowly.

"Damn right you will. Give the phone to Sara right now." His father's angry voice told him.

"Umm..she's busy." LJ said quickly.

"Give her the phone-"

"OK dad, sure I'll make sure she'll call you later. Love you too." LJ said into the phone.

"LJ-what the hell-" LJ slammed the phone closed.

"Everything Ok?" Sara asked turning.

"Um.Yeah. My dad wants you to call him in a little while." He hit the off button on the phone. If his plan was going to go right he couldn't have his father ruining it.

Sara handed him a sandwich and pointed to the table. "Sit."

"Yes ma'am."

Sara listened to his chatter as he finished off the food then closed her eyes.

"Ok LJ. What are you doing here?"

LJ swallowed the last of his sandwich and sighed, "I kinda-maybe…got into a fight with my dad."

"A fight with your father?" Sara asked. "About what?"

LJ dropped his head, "You."

"Me? Why on earth would you fight about me?" she asked confused.

LJ lifted his head, "I know about the baby."

It was her turn to avoid eye contact. "LJ-"

"No…it's I need to say this Sara." He looked out of the kitchen window. "This is all my fault. Everything is. If you hadn't tried to save me you'd still be with us. You'd still have the baby-" his voice was thickening with emotions.

"LJ," she reached across the table and patted his hand. "This wasn't your fault. It was Mahones' fault and only his."

He didn't even looked at her, "You were trying to protect me. And because of that we had to leave you behind. Do you realize that if you had just let that bastered shoot me you'd be living in a tropical paradise with the man you love and a two year old?"

Sara gave a weak smile, "But then something might have happened to you."

LJ turned to her, tears beaming in his eyes. "I killed your child. I ruined everything."

"No, oh no." Sara pushed her chair closer to his. "Oh sweetie-that's not true."

"You were trying to save me-" he bit his lip to hold back tears. "And…and.-"

Sara pulled his head onto her shoulder, "LJ this wasn't your fault. This wasn't my fault, this wasn't anyone's fault."

LJ laid his head on her should and finally released his tears, "I'm so sorry," he sobbed.

Sara stroked his head, giving him whatever comfort she had. After a few moments LJ pulled his head up and used his fist to clear his face.

"I was so mad at them for leaving you that way." LJ told her quickly, "I didn't speak to them for two weeks and I never passed up a chance to rub it in their faces that they had left you. But I was just so mad at myself."

"LJ, listen to me-"

"Sara! I killed your kid and your letting me off!" He yelled, tears reappearing.

"I'd never forgive you if you had had a real part in it." She tossed back gently. "But I made the decision to protect you and I'd do it again and again."

LJ stood and began pacing, "You were the closest thing to a mom I had left. You were so cool and caring that I liked you the moment I met you. You were awesome to be on the run with. You kept dad in check when he'd get angry, and you cooled Uncle Mike down when he'd start panicking over the small stuff. Whenever I needed anything you were already a step ahead to get it to me." LJ turned to her, "Then we paid you back by killing your baby and leaving you to die."

Sara clasped her hands tightly together and stared at them. "It hurt so bad when I woke up and realized that you guys were gone. Then when I found out I had lost the baby I was devastated. The only thing that got me through those days was knowing that you all were safe." She stood and took a step toward him, "See the bitch of it all is that no matter what someone I love does to me I'll still love them. And I still love you guys. So yeah I was hurt and angry but I knew that the three people I loved most in the world were off somewhere getting the happiness they deserved."

LJ stared at her in disbelief. "Sara- we LEFT you!"

"And it hurt. It hurt more then anything. But I was also relieved that you were safe. If I had been conscious I would have insisted on you guys leaving."

LJ waved an arm in frustration. "But we wouldn't have!"

"LJ-" She closed the space between them and placed both hands on his shoulders.

"LJ it's over, we need to let go."

He stared at her for a moment, "If it's over and done with why aren't you with us?"

Sara let go of him and retook her seat, "Because it's not where I belong. And I'm not sure I have what it takes to survive in your Uncle and dad's world."

"What you really mean is that you're not sure if you still love Uncle Mike."

She dropped her head into her hands. He continued gently, "You say you forgive us and you would have wanted us to leave, but yet you still won't give up and come home."

She lifted her head, "It's late, LJ. You've had a long day. You should go to bed."

"Sara-" He started.

"There's a guest bedroom across from mine. You can stay for two weeks then I'm kicking your ass out." She added playfully.

LJ forced a grin and stood. "Thanks."

Sara forced her legs to work, "No problem-" she opened her arms for him.

He gave a genuine smile and lowered himself into her embrace. "Goodnight Sara."

Sara crawled into bed, lifted the phone from her nightstand and stared at it. She had to call Lincoln back. She had to tell him that his son was just rebeling and would be home in two weeks. It was quite a simple matter-dial the number that she had memorized by heart and tell Lincoln the very simple information. The problem was-what if Michael was there? What if he answered the phone or what if he wanted to talk to her?

"Oh this is stupid." Sara berated herself as she dialed the numbers into the phone.

"Yup?" was the slurred answered.

"Michael?" Sara asked slowly, her worst fear, Michael answered the phone.

"Yeah?" he responded in a bewildered voice.

"It's Sara?" Sara released a breath

"Sara? As in Sara Sara?"

"Yeah," she answered awkwardly. "Where are you?

"I'm at this cute little bar, day dreaming about you! Where are you?" He responded brightly.

"Michael are you drunk?" She asked stunned, another fear she hadn't even consider. He was drunk..

"No! No I only drink on weekends…"

Sara released a heavy breath. "It's Saturday afternoon where you are,"

She could hear him laughing on the other end. "Ok then yeah I'm drunk."

"Michael, where's Lincoln?" She begged that Lincoln was there watching over his little brother.

"Lincoln? I don't' know why? You don't want to talk to me?" He whined lightly.

"Michael you need to find your brother. You shouldn't be drunk and alone." Sara told him quickly. Trust me, she wanted to add; I know what I'm talking about.

"Sara-" Michael started in a heavy emotional voice. "Sara I'm sorry."

Sara bit back a responds, he really was. "And-" he continued. "And I really miss you."

"Michael, find your brother." She whispered into the phone.

"You don't believe me do you? You never believe me when I tell you how sorry I am. You never believe me when I tell you I love you. Why not Sara?" If it wasn't for the drunken slur that she recognizance so well she would have been sure he was sober.

"We can't talk-…I can't…I called to talk to your brother Michael." She knew if he were sober he could hear the tears running down her face.

Suddenly a second voice intruded on the line.

"Michael you stupid bastered! Where the hell have you been I've been looking all over for you! And who are you on the phone with?"

"Give the phone to Lincoln, Michael." Sara said quickly, relieved.

Sara could still hear the phone pressed against Michael's ears.

"Sara?" Michael yelled, "Sara?"

A smile tugged at her mouth, "I'm still here Michael. Can I speak to Lincoln?"

"Sara?" He asked again.

She sighed, "Yes Michael?"

"I love you. Just in case you forgot. Ok," Michael responded cheerful again. "Here, Sara wants to talk to you."

"Sara?" She heard Lincoln whispered. "As in your Sara?"

"Yup," was Michael's answer.

"Sara?" Lincoln pressed the phone to his head.

"Lincoln." Sara sighed.

"What's going on with LJ?" Lincoln asked suddenly.

"Yeah, that's why I'm calling. He showed up on my doorstep a little while ago wanting to stay for a few months."

"A few months!" Linc repeated outraged.

"Yeah he's pretty angry with you both right now. But don't worry, Lincoln, I calmed him down and convinced him to go home in a few weeks."

She heard Lincoln release a heavy sigh, "Thanks for this Sara. That kid is so impulsive it drives me crazy."

"Well at lest you know who he takes after." Sara said lightly.

"Yeah. But if he had taken after his uncle he'd have a full body tat of the directions to your place, so I guess we lucked out." Lincoln joke.

Sara found herself giving a hearty laugh, "Good point." A moment later she spoke again. "Is he really drunk?" she whispered.

"When isn't he drunk?" Lincoln answered quickly.

Sara closed her eyes and leaned against the bed frame. "I'm so sorry."

"This isn't your fault Sara." Lincoln said darkly into the phone.

She gripped the cell phone tighter. His tone had implied the complete opposite of his words; she opened her eyes and leaned forward.

"I don't want him to be like that, Lincoln. I still care for him." She snapped.

"Maybe but you just don't care enough to help him." Lincoln said angrily into the phone. "There was a time I thought you two were made for each other. The perfect match, the couple who really could make it through anything-"

"That ended when he left me bleeding on a motel room bed." She whispered knowing he could hear the tears threaten her.

"You have no idea what leaving you did to him." Lincoln said, she could hear him calming himself down.

"I lost my child." Sara whispered. "I lost my child and you want me to worry about him?"

The only sound Lincoln heard for the next few minutes were her sobs. After a time he spoke gently. "He still loves you. And I know you still love him."

"You know nothing about my feelings toward your brother." She told him savagely.

"Maybe I don't but I do know that you're just being stubborn to punish him."

Sara stared out her bedroom window, "Leave it alone, Linc, just leave it alone."

Maybe he could hear her begin to cry or maybe he just followed her demanded but his next words were of greater comfort. "Thank you for taking care of my son. I know he's safe with you. I'll be there to pick him up when he comes home."

"Good," she nodded. "Goodbye Lincoln."

"Sara-I'm sorry I'm hard on you. But I want what's best for those I love, I just have a hard time going about it." He said awkwardly.

Sara smiled, "I know—but there's just so much…"

"I know." He swallowed, "Goodnight Sara. Tell LJ I love him."

"Of course Lincoln. Bye."

Sara closed the phone set it gently on her bed. She pulled her blankets around herself and pulled the pillow tighter to her.

"_I love you. Just in case you forgot."_ Tears rolled down her face causing a damp pool on her pillow.

Thanks for reading-please review!


	6. Chapter 6

_LJ laid on the cold hotel floor tucked in his sleeping bag._

_Sara had convinced Michael that an actual nights sleep was in order for everyone. _

_She was fast asleep on one of the beds while his uncle and father took the other bed. He could hear his father's light snoring and his uncle's heavy breathing._

_He released a sob that he had been holding in since that morning._

_He buried his head into his pillow and cried. It seemed like ages since his father had found him wandering alone on the road. _

_The woman Jane had assigned to protect him had taken a bullet while getting him out of harms way and died soon after. He was left alone and had no clue what to do. Thankfully his father had found him hours later. Still it hadn't given LJ any time to mourn yet another woman he had lost. _

"_LJ?" a women's voice whispered in the darkness._

_LJ froze, he had done his best to avoid Sara to the point of having his Uncle pull him a side and ask why he didn't like Sara. It wasn't that he didn't like Sara, he explained, he didn't want to like her because then she'd die._

"_Are you alright?" He could hear her sitting up in the bed._

"_Fine," he muttered angrily, wiping at his face._

_LJ heard her give a little sigh of aggravation. "LJ, are you OK?"_

"_I'm fine," he said a little more gently, "Just go to sleep."_

"_I can't." She responded quickly._

"_Why not?" LJ asked._

_He could almost hear her smile, "I'm cold."_

_Funny, he was cold too. "Want some company?" he offered shyly._

"_Please," she muttered back quickly._

_LJ jumped from the ground and hopped into the bed. Sara was already lifting the blankets for him, He slide easily between them._

"_Thanks." He whispered to her._

"_You're doing me the favor," she whispered curling herself around her pillow and facing him. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked._

_LJ turned to her, "Please don't tell my dad or uncle Mike."_

"_That you were crying?" Sara questioned. "Why not?"_

"_I don't want them to think I'm weak." He said staring up at the ceiling._

_Sara sighed, "They won't think that, LJ."_

"_Just please don't tell them," He whispered urgently._

"_I won't LJ." She assured quickly, "I've been crying too, you know."_

_LJ turned to her, "I never noticed."_

"_I always cry when I take showers in the mornings. I hold it all in until the waters on full blast then I sob for the entire time." She whispered sadly._

"_Why don't you tell Uncle Mike?" the boy wondered._

"_Because he has alot on his mind, the last thing I want is for him to worry about my emotional statues." She answered lightly. "So I won't tell if you don't."_

_LJ gave a weak smile, "Sounds like a plan."_

_He heard her drop onto her back and join him in studying the ceiling. He took a deep breath then released it; she had just made him feel better. Neither Veronica nor Jane nor his bodyguard had ever confided something in him. While they each had been good women who had given their lives for the cause they had always treated him like a child. _

"_Why do you cry?" he asked wanting more of her story._

_LJ heard her suck in a deep breath, "I'm scared."_

"_Of what?" he asked quickly._

"_The future…not making it to Panama. Having that FBI bastered on our tail…" She rambled; she faced him faced with a cynical laugh. "Pretty much everything. You?"_

"_The future." LJ answered. "Of losing what's left of my family."_

"_We're two days away from all this…LJ, two days." Sara whispered encouragingly._

"_That doesn't mean much, Sara. You know that. Even worse, what happens when he get to Panama? Uncle Mike will dwell on his quilt until he starts drinking. Dad will drink to block out what happened to Veronica and Jane. So I'll be stuck with two drunk, depressed men." LJ whispered angrily._

"_What about me?" Sara touched his arm._

"_You're going to leave us-," he said sadly._

"_Whoa-" Sara muttered, "Why would I do that?"_

"_I don't know. The only reason your staying is because you don't have a choice. What happens when we're free and you realize you don't want to stay with us?"_

"_LJ," Sara lifted herself up on her elbow. "I'm not your prisoner. I'm staying because the same people who killed Veronica are after me. I'm staying because there's nowhere else I want to be, and no one else I want to be with. Yes, Your uncle and Dad are going to have a really hard few years. But it's going to get easier."_

_LJ faced her; a smile began tugging at his mouth. "Promise?"_

"_Only if you promise not to tell your uncle I asked you to sleep with me. You know how jealous he gets." She teased falling back into the bed._

"_Deal." He laughed, grateful. _

"_Good, now get some sleep." She whispered._

_When LJ woke the next morning he was laying on the floor wrapped tightly in his sleeping bag. He looked up when Sara walked out of the bathroom; his father was cleaning fingerprints off the TV while his uncle studied a phone book. _

"_Sorry, I kicked you out of bed…" Sara whispered as she folded her clothing into a bag._

"_No-thanks actually…I didn't want my dad—"he stumbled._

_Sara smiled at him, "And let's not forget your jealous uncle." _

LJ woke from his dream and looked around the room. The room was empty expect for the bed, a dresser and a nightstand. He curled the blankets tighter around him then stopped. Someone was watching him.

LJ lifted his head from the bed and looked toward the doorway. Sara was sitting in the doorway with her knees scrunched to her chest. Her head laid on her knees and given the state of her clothing LJ guessed that was where she had spent her night.

LJ smiled, threw back the sheets of his bed and walked toward her.

"Sara." He knelt close to her, "Sara."

Her head jerked up, "LJ-" her voice was full of panic and worry.

"What are you doing?" he asked lightly.

She looked at him, "Pardon me?" she ran a hand through her hair.

"You know it's not proper for a women of your age to sleep in the same room as a young stud like me."

This relaxed her as LJ sat close to her, "What are you doing here?"

"I was worried…" She stared fondly at him and patted his cheek. "Old habits die hard."

LJ lost his smile. "You too eh?"

Sara nodded, "I guess it was expected. How bad is it for you?"

LJ rubbed the back of his neck in a movement that so reminded Sara of his father.

"Pretty bad, for the first few months I don't think one of us slept the entire night. Dad

would wake up just to walk around the house. I wouldn't close the door when I took a

shower because I'm…" he fell short.

Sara rested a hand on his ankle. "It's ok." She soothed.

"I'm claustrophobic…never was before." He sighs heavily.

"I check my closest ever night before I go to bed." She confessed.

LJ nodded sadly, after a moment he lifted his head. "What's for breakfast?"

Sara blinked then laughed, "You really know how to break the tension don't you?"

"Hey-a man wants what he wants." LJ stood then dropped a hand to help her stand. "And tonight, Sara, it's my turn to keep watch."

Sara smiled then led him into her kitchen. She instantly went to the window and pushed it open, neither commented on the freezing weather outside.

"So-what do you eat for breakfast?" She turned to him, leaning against her counter.

LJ dropped into the table. "A knock off of corn flakes with cold beer."

Sara froze, "Your kidding."

"Yeah. But I did try that once." LJ stuck out his tongue. "God it was bad. I wouldn't recommend it."

Sara smiled. "And you didn't even need to get a degree for that."

She walked toward her pantry and pulled open the doors. After surveying the contents she pulled out a box of bisquick.

"Pancakes?" LJ asked.

"Is that a problem?" She looked up from the box.

"No," LJ stood. "Mind if I help?"

Sara tossed him the box, "I insist. I've never made them before…"

"Really? Pancakes?" LJ rolled up his sleeves and reached for a bowl. "Sit back and watch a master at work."

Sara laughed then pulled up a seat. "Well if you say so but I don't see one."

LJ gave a little shake, "Women…"he sighed dramatically. "Don't see a good thing when

it's staring them in the face."

Sara flinched a little and dropped her eyes.

"When I was growing up-" he paused as he poured water. "My dad would make me these every time I stayed over with him. We would add blueberries…"

Sara leaned back against her table, with a smile to listen to him talk.

A half hour later she found herself staring at a plate full of strawberry pancakes.

"You didn't have blueberries." LJ muttered.

"I'll pick some up later-" she stared in awe. "LJ-I'm impressed."

"Well who isn't." He grinned, "Dig in."

Sara cut herself a piece then took a big bite. "Wow-this is good, LJ. Your making breakfast for the rest of your time here."

LJ lost his smile. "And how long is that exactly?"

"I talked to your father," She laid her fork on the side of the plate. "And we agreed that in two weeks I'm kicking you out."

"Two weeks?" LJ repeated.

"Is that a problem?" Sara asked slowly.

"I wanted to stay longer." _God knows how long it'll take to convince her._

"LJ, I know you're mad at your father. Trust me I partially wrote the book on it. But you can't just run away. Your father loves you and you have to give him the chance to make it up to you." She lifted her fork. "Two weeks will give you plenty of time to get caught up on all the latest movies."

LJ smirked, "Thanks Sara."

"Hey I should be thanking you. These are wonderful." She took another bite.

LJ swallowed his food and began cutting another before he spoke.

"So…. Did you talk to Uncle Mike?" he kept his eyes on his plate

Sara felt her hand tighten around her fork, "Yes."

"And? How was he?" LJ lifted a piece of pancake to his mouth.

"Drunk off his ass from the sounds of it." She answered tightly.

He sighed and dropped his fork, "Still?"

"I guess." Sara replied. "This is all my fault."

LJ gave a sarcastic snicker, "You know, you and Uncle Mike say that a lot. When are you guys going to realize shit happens-"

"I should never had told him about the baby." Sara whispered angrily. "I did it to hurt him. I wanted him to be in as much pain as I was. And look I got my wish."

"Sara-" LJ whispered, "He needed to know."

"There's nothing he can do about it expect file it among the list of his other regrets." Sara

dropped her head into her hands.

"You need to stop blaming the wrong people." LJ started staring out the window. He was to afraid to met her eyes, "You keep blaming Uncle Mike but he didn't do anything! I was the one that made you get shot and dad was the one who left you. You should have seen Uncle Mike when we were leaving. He was a mess. In fact he hasn't been himself since that night. Sure finding out that he had a kid is going to make it worse but this whole thing has pushed him over the edge."

"He wasn't drinking before." Sara stated, "He had at least that going for him."

"No, but he let the guilt eat him alive…. There were nights where I'd wake up to him screaming in his sleep. Always your name…for the first two months he would do that. Dad and I started forcing him to drink before bed…." LJ looked at his plate. "It was bad."

Sara wrapped her arms around herself tightly, "You should have seen me. I spent the first two months crying. Didn't matter that I was locked in a cell with a racist, I cried all the time. She thought I was insane, and I think I was." Sara closed her eyes as unwelcome memories flooded back. "I was split in half. I was angry that he had left me, yet I was relieved that he-you guys- were safe. It was so hard. Then came the realization that I lost my-"Sara stopped.

"Your baby." LJ finished sadly.

"Yeah." Sara agreed. "That was hard."

Sara felt tears prickle her eyes and fought against them.

"Anyways-it's over." She said after a moment.

"Yeah," LJ muttered in a rough voice, she could tell he was about to cry.

"Come on. Eat those pancakes before they get cold." Sara encouraged lightly.

He gave a weak nod and bent his head to eat.

LJ wasn't nearly as smart as his Uncle was but when a crisis arose he could handle himself.

And this definitely qualified as a crisis.

Sara had just informed him that she was going out on a date.

With a man.

A man that wasn't his Uncle.

LJ could feel his family possessiveness run through his veins.

He sat on the couch listening to her primp herself for her date. A date he couldn't let go unchallenged. He turned as she stepped out of her room dressed it a sleek black dress with heels that clicked against the floorboards.

"Damn-"He smiled and stood. "Nice job…didn't know there was a hot chick under all

the grime and grease."

Sara threw her handbag at him, "Shut up punk."

The doorbell rang and LJ smiled, "I'll get it."

"Be nice!" She threatened in a whispered. "You still have another week to live with me."

"Yes, my lady." He bowed then walked to the door.

He pulled open the door and nearly laughed at the wanna be Ken Barbie on the other side of the door. "Hi," he held back a laugh.

"Hi, I'm here for Sara." The man said looking at him in polite wonder.

"Just a minute." He started to close the door when Sara nearly shoved him out of the way.

"James!" she smiled, "How are you?"

"Wonderful. You look lovely." He grinned, relieved to see her.

"Thank you." She pulled on her coat, and smiled at LJ, "We'll be back around 11.."

"Sure thing." He still hadn't taken his eyes off the other man. "Have fun." He called in a mocking tone as Sara stepped over the threshold.

Twenty minutes later found himself at the same restaurant as Sara. He was standing in the halls leading toward the bathrooms staring at her. She'd be getting up any time now, he knew. She had been sitting there for over an hour and since the time LJ had arrived she had done nothing but nod and smile. He knew an escape to the bathroom was in short order.

LJ tapped his foot, this was ridiculous. Why was she even wasting her time on this loser? This didn't make any sense, she could have his uncle, live in Panama happily ever after but stead she's going on dates with Ken Barbie.

Sara interrupted his thoughts as she politely excused herself and walked toward the bathroom.

LJ quickly dodged out of her eyesight and made his way over to the table she had vacated.

He dropped into her seat, "Have you seen my mom?"

"Pardon me?" the man asked surprised.

"My mom." LJ repeated annoyed, "The woman your having dinner with."

"She's your mother?" The man repeated.

"Duh-" LJ lifted her glass of water and took a sip. "Didn't she tell you that?"

"No…she said you were her friend's kid…She's your mom?" he leaned forward.

"Yup…don't worry. She does this a lot. Her and my dad fight a lot, so when he goes away this is her little pay back to him. "

"Your dad?" The man stumbled, nervousness.

"Yeah…he's an ex con…truck driver now but back in the day quite the badass." LJ smirked as James began to sweat a little more.

"Ex-con?" James stumbled.

"Yeah—you know Fox River…"LJ promoted with a gleam in his eye. "He was on death row…they used to call him Linc the sink. He was tough."

James pulled out his wallet threw cash on the table then stood. "Do you think you-could-um..tell your mom something came up."

"Of course," LJ smiled, "Thanks for dinner."

He watched as James practically ran from restaurant. LJ smiled, and moved into James chair then began cutting up his stake.

"LJ." Sara muttered.

LJ looked up, "Hi mom." He gave her a big smile.

"Where's James?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Um…well he said to tell you that something came up…"LJ leaned forward a little, "But

I think after I started talking about my dad he got scared. I don't know why though. I mean just because he used to be on death row doesn't mean he's a bad guy."

Sara sat herself with a crooked grin. "You're a little jerk, you know that right?"

"You can thank me by letting me get desert." He smiled.

Sara shook her head; she studied her salad for a moment then looked back up at LJ.

"This is the first time I've tried dating."

"I know." LJ responded gently. "You keep looking at him like he was suppose to be someone else. Even I could see that."

Sara nodded sadly, "This sucks."

"Not really," LJ smiled weakly, "This food is great!"

Later that night LJ sat with Sara on her couch watching 24.

"I have a girlfriend." He said quickly as a commercial played before them.

Sara turned and smiled, "Really?"

"Yeah, she's great. Tall, long brown hair, amazing eyes…the best body ever!" He described with a sly grin.

"Well good for you lover boy." Sara patted his cheek.

"I think I love her." He said sincerely.

Sara's hand froze on his cheek. "How long have you been with her?"

"Only a few months…but I think I'm going to propose after I get back."

Sara lunged for the remote and clicked the TV off. This was more important then watching Jack defuse a nuke…again.

"LJ-you haven't known her all that long. I think your moving a little to fast." Sara turned to him. "If you've only known her for a few months it's not a good idea to rush things.

Don't start using words like 'love' and 'marriage' until your really sure you love her."

"Well how long does it take to fall in love?" LJ asked.

"I-um-"Sara dropped her eyes, "I have no idea…but I don't think-"

"It took you what…seven weeks? Then you were ready to run away with him into the sunset." LJ said gently.

"That was different…very different." Sara mumbled looking at him.

"Why? So we aren't on the run but I love her." LJ said firmly. "And I know you'd understand if you met her."

"LJ-" Sara started.

"If you'd met her you could tell me if you really think I shouldn't propose."

"That's going to be a little difficult." Sara reached back for the remote.

LJ moved it out of her reach. "Why?"

"Besides the fact that we're a million miles apart?" Sara joked.

"Then come back with me." He said bluntly.

Sara froze, "You-you know I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"LJ-" She whispered.

"Listen I know you have your issues and that's fine. But it'd mean a lot to me if you did." LJ touched her shoulder. "I can't really talk about this to my dad and Uncle Mike-is well unavailable."

Sara stared at him. "I'm not going to Panama."

"Why not?" LJ asked.

"Because…it's not my place." She stared at the blank TV.

"It's just a place, Sara. It's not special in any way." He said.

"It's Panama…. if you only knew the things I've dreamt about happening in that place." She whispered emotionally.

"Listen, you don't have to reconnect with Uncle Mike. You don't even have to speak to him or dad. All you have to do is come for a week-"

"No!" She got off the couch. "I can't do that I'm sorry, LJ."

LJ leaned against the couch, "I hate to sound all Dr. Phil but it might help with some closure."

Sara covered her face with her hands and released a heavy sigh. This wasn't happening…she could almost feel the breeze off the ocean, the sound of his voice calling her name…bananas. Damn it!

"Go to bed, LJ. You've had a long day." She whispered walking to her room.

"Sara-" he stood and took a step after her, "I do want you to meet Sophie."

Sara felt her body stiffen she didn't turn. But LJ could hear her mind turning with thoughts.

"At lest promise me you'll think about it."

This time she did turn, "I promise."

LJ stood in the living room as she disappeared into her own room a bright smile appeared on his face.


	7. Chapter 7

_Sara had insisted on getting two rooms that night. One for LJ and the brothers, and the other for herself. Since they had picked up LJ he had barely spoken a word and hadn't made any kind of sign that he recognized them._

_Sara had done a quick exam and explained that he was probably just in shock over witnessesing Jane's death. _

_Lincoln and Michael hurried LJ into the other room to try to get through to him, while Sara hid the car then went into her own room. Seconds later Michael knocked on her door. "Sara?"_

"_It's open," Sara muttered, flipping through the TV, sitting on her bed._

"_You shouldn't leave this open." He started as he stepped through, then closed and locked the door behind him._

"_We're on TV," Sara pointed with the remote ignoring him._

_Michael sat on the floor with his back against the bed; he lifted a hand to her leg._

"_I don't like that mug shot," Sara said seriously, "You always look so evil. The way you tilt your head like that is just wrong."_

"_Sorry," Michael bent his head back to smile at her, "Next time I'll ask the guy to let me smile to make my girlfriend happy. I'm sure that'll go over well."_

_Sara grinned; they hadn't had a moment alone together since the train. The girlfriend comment made her feel as tingly as when he last kissed her. Sara gave herself a mental shake; there were more important things to think about._

"_How's LJ?" _

_Michael's grip on her leg tightened protectively, "Not to much better—he started crying."_

_Sara leaned forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, "That's a good thing Michael, he's letting it out."_

"_If you say so," He gave her a brief smile._

"_Why aren't you with him?" She removed her hand. "He's gonna need as much family as he can."_

_Michael sighed, his eyes focused on the TV, "Lincoln can handle him. I was worried about you."_

_Sara smiled slightly, "I'm fine, Michael. You need to go be with your family. You have no idea how important that is."_

_He said nothing, catching the subtle meaning in her voice. She had been thinking about her father more and more often since they picked up LJ._

"_Sara," Michael picked himself up, shut off the TV and turned. "Are you ok?"_

_She stared up at him, "Of course,"_

"_I know that seeing Linc and LJ has been hard for you-" He sat close to her, taking one hand in her's._

"_Michael-" She lifted her free hand to signal him to stop, "it's ok. I'm ok. We have important thing to think about."_

He gave a wry sigh then smiled. "I think worrying about you is quite important so stop trying to distract me."

Sara shook her head angrily then stood, "Michael-"

He was on his feet in an instant. "Sara, don't shut me out."

She wanted to walk to the little table by the door and read the newspaper, she wanted him to go, she wanted-needed to be alone so she could cry. Lincoln had embraced his son with such love that Sara stared at them for a full minute. Her father-not even when they were good did he ever hug her like that.

"I don't think you want me to open up to you right now Michael," she said cynically.

She could feel him place a hand on her hip, then use it to pull her back to him.

"I always want you open to me." He whispered.

Sara could feel her control loosen. Michael lifted a hand and stroked her cheek. That was all it took for her to burst into tears and throw her arms around him. Michael held her tightly and kissed her neck gently.

"You hold me so tight-" she muttered through tears.

"I'll always hold you this tight," he replied wrapping his arms tighter.

"My father never did." She dug her hands into his back. "Lincoln nearly crushed LJ. Did you see that? He picked him off the ground for a split second. And it wasn't ended by a pat on the back-" she was rambling now-her tears streaming down her face.

"Sara-" Michael sighed sadly.

She pulled away so she could see his face, she tried to clear her face but he didn't release her hands.

"I'm so sorry-"

He shook his head, "Don't apologize,"

She nodded then rested her head back on his chest, "My mother used to hug me. Right before bed, right after I'd brush my teeth she'd give me this big hug and whispered in my ear that she loved me. She did it ever night…. until…"Sara stopped.

Michael pulled her away a little so she could see his bright smile. "Really? So did mine! She always ask me if I got my back teeth,, Linc never did so she had to make sure. But I also did so she'd lift me up and tuck me in."

Sara's tears resided as she listened to him. The excited smile was contagious, but more then anything the fact that he shared something about his childhood with her made her smile.

"Thank you," she whispered after a moment. She finally pulled a hand free and wiped under her eye.

"For what?" He kissed her cheek gently.

"Making me smile when I was being a complete-"

"My father never hugged me." Michael said quickly, suddenly sober.

Sara flinched, but said nothing. Instead she moved her arms to rest on his shoulders.

"But he did die for me," he buried himself in her neck. "And I know he loved me. As hard as it's been to understand that I know it's true. In the deepest part of my heart I know it's true. Just like I know your father loved you." He lifted his head up and she saw his tears. "They may not have shown it like Linc shows LJ but it's there."

Sara nodded then rested her forehead against his. "This is why we shouldn't open up while we're on the run-no lotion tissues."

Michael stared at her for a second before laughing. "Very good point. When we get to Panama-I'll make sure to order lotion tissues by the case for you."

"We can do that?" Sara questioned.

"Sure, if we ever decide to get off our hammock." He smiled.

"Our Hammock?" she repeated.

Michael pulled her forward to kiss her, "Our Hammock."

"You're kidding!" LJ asked stunned.

Sara smiled awkwardly at him, "No."

"You're serious?" He said. "As in serious, serious? As in get on the plane with me tomorrow serious?"

"As in." Sara looked down at her cup of coffee.

LJ jumped from the table and pumped his fists into the air. "YES!"

Sara slapped the table. "Calm down LJ."

"Dad and Uncle Mike are going to go crazy—Oh my god we have to tell-" LJ dropped back into his seat.

"We don't have to tell anyone." Sara said her smile residing. "I'm staying long enough to meet your girlfriend and to make sure Michael doesn't drink anymore."

LJ gave a disbelieving nod, "Of course."

"I'm serious LJ!" Sara pointed a finger at him, "One-two nights Max!"

"Deal!" LJ said slyly.

Sara stared at the young boy suddenly feeling like this had all been a part of his plan.

"I'm serious LJ!" she repeated.

"Hey! I heard you the first time! Who you trying to convince?" LJ dug into his cereal.

She stumbled, "I-I'm just making sure we're on the same page."

-

Sara was sure she'd never been more nervous in her life. Never had she wanted a drink more. Just one, just a little one, something just to take the edge off. Hell, she'd take a wine cooler. Anything just to make this walk to the plane a little easier. She spotted the airport bar as they hurried past, if she had been alone she knew she would have stopped. Just like Michael had. Sara froze; she couldn't go to the same bar that Michael had started ruining himself at.

LJ turned when he noticed Sara slowing her paces. He followed her eyesight and saw what she was looking at. He didn't comment instead slipped an arm through her's and tugged her along.

-

Michael didn't know what the big deal was. So LJ was coming home. Good but it wasn't incentive enough for him to stop drinking, yet his brother had woken up bright and early. Throw him in the shower then told him they were going to pick up his nephew and he was coming. Michael knew it would be easier just to do as told.

Michael leaned against their car as they sat in front of the airport waiting. Lincoln stood next to him smoking a cigarette.

Michael scanned the crowd, all he wanted was to see his nephew-get into the car drive home and crawl back into a bottle. He was thirsty-all he wanted was a drink.

"There he is." Lincoln pointed, spotting his tall son over the crowed, "That little jerk, I'm gonna rip his head off not coming home sooner."

"A sentence like that might be the reason he stayed so long," Michael muttered. He didn't like to think that LJ had stayed with Sara for so long. In was stupid to be jealous of his nephew. He knew that LJ and Sara had bonded while they were on the run, yet it was hard that she had allowed him to stay and kicked him out.

"LJ!" Lincoln threw his cigarette away and lifted a hand to his son.

They saw LJ lift his head and steer toward them.

When the crowed cleared a little more they saw his traveling companion and they both froze. Michael was glad he had been leaning up against the car because the moment she stepped into view he sagged against it.

"That sneaky little bastered." Lincoln said brightly.

"Dad!" LJ yelled happily waving toward them.

Michael didn't bother to knowledge his nephew as they approached. He stared in shock at Sara; she was wearing long tan colored slacks with a sleeveless t-shirt. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail that allowed hair to fall, framing her face.

"Sara-" Michael stared. He took a step toward her, forgetting for a moment everything that had happened and just wanting to touch her.

"Michael," she greeted, she stared at his shoes. She could feel his eyes scanning her, almost caresses her where she stood. She felt Goosebumps cover her arms; silently she cursed herself for still allowing him to have that affect on her.

"How was the flight?" He managed.

LJ was animatingly telling his father about a woman that had sat in front of them.

"Good," she forced herself to meet his eyes. "Hot."

Michael nodded seriously, and then dropped his head. "I'm sorry you had to come all the way-"

"LJ wanted me to meet his girlfriend." Sara stopped on his sentence, "I'm only here for a few days."

Michael glanced at LJ in confusion then dropped his gaze at her final words. She wasn't here for him. "Let's get you out of the heat," he turned toward his car and pulled open the passenger door for her.

_Always the gentleman_, Sara thought as she walked to the car, "Thanks."

LJ, still raving about his trip jumped in the back with his father while Michael gently shut the door and walked around to the drivers seat.

They listened to LJ ramble in the back seat in awkward silence until he made a joke and nudge her. "Eh Sara?" He asked.

Sara flinched; she had been trying so hard not to think about Michael sitting next to her that her mind was completely focus on him. "What is it LJ?" She turned her head.

"Just admiring the view, it's great isn't it mom?" He said again with a smile

"Mom?" Both Michael and Lincoln repeated.

"Sara was about to make a mistake so I covered for her." LJ smiled at the back of her head.

"What happened? Are you Ok?" Michael asked urgently, looking sideways at her.

"It was nothing-just a stupid mistake," She glanced back at LJ, "Right, darling son of mine?" she threatened gently.

"Well that depends on how long you plan on staying." He leaned forward on her seat.

"Pardon me?" Sara turned in her seat.

"Oh did I forget to mention that if you don't want me to share you're little mistake your going to have to extend your vacation a little more!"

"I can't believe you did this!" Sara gasped.

"That's the deal!" LJ winked.

Sara turned back and crossed her arms over her chest. "Good to know scheming runs in the blood." She muttered, only Michael heard her. He gave her a quick look of apology.

"So what's it going to be, Sara?" The boy asked.

"Go ahead-tell them." Sara leaned back. "I don't care."

"So about a week ago, we get done with dinner when the lovely Sara here informs me-" She would have let him continue if she hadn't noticed how focused Michael was on her, and how broken he looked. "Shut up, LJ." She muttered loud enough for him to hear her. She tore her gaze off Michael and turned, "Fine. You got a deal. But after this ordeal I might have to tell Sophie that Pirates of the Caribbean scared you."

"Who's Sophie?" Lincoln asked.

Sara turned to Lincoln, "Sophie, Your son's girlfriend-" she faded off as LJ rubbed the back of his neck with a guiltily smile on his face.

"About that-Sara-" He looked up at her.

"You lying punk." Sara whispered in shock.

Michael spared his nephew a glance, "What the hell did you do LJ?"

"You lied about that too LJ?" Sara gasped.

"I'm sorry Sara," He started seeing how deeply she was hurt. "I just wanted you to come home-"

"It's Ok, LJ. Don't worry about it." She said but her tone expressed the opposite.

LJ dropped against the back of his seat; His father hit him upside the head with a large paw. "What'd you do, kid?"

"I just wanted her to come home-" He whined.

"So are the locals welcoming you?" Sara looked at Michael.

Michael stared at her, surprised that she had spoken to him directly. "For the most part-we don't go to town much…"Michael stopped. He had been going to town a lot as of late-"But when we do and we have money they don't seem to care either way."

"That's good. So no trouble?" She asked.

"I won't say that." Lincoln said from the back seat eyeing her.

"We're home." LJ muttered happily.

Sara looked out the windshield as they drove down a lengthy drive way. She looked around them, the road had trees and weeds had over grown both sides of the driveway. Sara gripped the side of her seat as the car dumped up and down. "Nice, driveway." Sara muttered as she was pulled from her seat only be dropped a second later.

"Keeps away the sells men." Lincoln said from the back.

Suddenly the car hit a bump and Sara jerked up, she prepared herself to be slammed into the dashboard when a tattooed arm shot out across her chest and pushed her back.

Sara turned to him, "Careful." He muttered retracting his right hand.

She couldn't help but smile, her mother had done that to her when she was old enough to sit in the front sit. It was just a protective gesture it made her blush. "Thanks."

Moments later Michael pulled the car to a halt in front of a nearly run down house. It had it's own private beach a few yards behind it. Sara saw a hammock over back the beginnings of a beach, she couldn't help but smile, it was almost an exacta replica to the paradise she created in her mind.

Sara pulled her small backpack over her shoulder and stepped out of the car. She couldn't seem to tear her eyes off the hammock. LJ got out of the car, he saw where she was staring and smiled. "It's Uncle Mike's. But he never let's anyone use it." LJ explain quietly. Both brothers stood on the other side of the car have a discussing in harsh tones.

"Really?" Sara questioned, there was a time that they had planned on endless hours laying on that hammock.

"Yup-" LJ turned to her, "Sara-I am sorry."

Sara gave an exhausted smile, "LJ, I wish you had just told me. I don't like being lied too."

"I know! But I knew that you wouldn't come any other way." LJ looked down at her, he opened his mouth to continue his apology when his father came over.

"LJ," He waved a hand at him, "We need to talk."

LJ gave Sara a quick fearful look then followed him.

Sara found herself alone with Michael; she studied her shoes until he was standing beside her.

"I tried to convince Linc not to be to hard on him." He watched his brother and nephew.

"Somehow I don't think he listened," Sara muttered, watching Lincoln wave his hands angrily in all directions.

After a moment Michael brought his gaze back to the woman at his side. He studied the top of her head. He would have liked to say he was relieved to see her, which he was. But a larger part of him was ashamed. She had come because of a lie. He used her from the very beginning, his actions caused her bodily harm, and her left her to die then killed their child. He had a lot to be ashamed of, and the fact that his nephew had lied to her to get her to come here just topped it off for him.

"Sara, I'm sorry." He said sincerely.

Sara gathered her courage and faced him. "Are you?"

He couldn't help but flinch at little at her tone. It forced him into honestly. "I'm not sorry you're here but I am sorry you were lied to."

"Again," Sara muttered, turning away from him.

Michael bit his lip, "We should go inside." He gestured to their house.

She nodded, gripped her bag close and followed him in.

Michael insistently regretted the offer. The house had three bedrooms on one side of the house. A dining room that connected to the kitchen and living room on the other.

"Cozy," Sara smiled briefly as she entered then froze as her eyes rested on the contents of his coffee table

Michael felt like bashing his head into a wall. He hadn't cleaned up after himself. At all…for the past three weeks. Beer bottles, whiskey bottle…bottles Michael didn't even remember buying and drinking covered the little table. Worse then that, a file laid open. A file Michael had constructed of her before the escape. Photos of her from newspaper clippings laid in full view.

"I'll take you home." He muttered not looking at her.

Sara turned her head to stare out the kitchen window that gave full view of the ocean.

"You don't want me here?"

"It's not a matter of what I want is it?" He responded barely above a whisper.

She nodded, "What if it was?" She said closing her eyes. She knew why she had come. It wasn't to met LJ's girlfriend-it wasn't to spend time to make sure he was safe. It was to help Michael; it was to repair what she had broken. She dropped her bag onto the floor and rested both hands on her neck.

"You'd never leave." He answered slowly.

"I'm so sorry, Michael." Sara whispered, she could feel the oncoming of tears.

"You, Sara, have nothing to be sorry for. Ever." He said passionately.

"I wish that were true." She opened her eyes and turned to him.

He stood before her more vulnerable then she'd ever seen anyone. And that knowledge almost killed her, she had broken him.

"I told you about our child when I shouldn't have." Sara felt the tears tear roll down her cheek. "When it happened I was a mess. More of a mess then I've ever been. The only reason I'm sober and alive is because my father's friend's threw me in rehab for the first several months." Another tear. "But I made it through, Michael. And I can't let you sink the way I could have."

"Sara-" he took a step toward her and lifted a hand to touch her shoulder.

She pulled away, "Michael, I can't forgive you. But I can't abandoned you." She finally lifted her eyes to him. She could barely see him through the tears in her eyes.

"I…I understand." He nodded, "You don't owe me anything, I don't want you to feel as if you do."

"I owe you more then I've ever owed anyone, Michael. I owe you because you showed me the best things in life aren't at the end of syringe." She wrapped her arms around herself, "That's the real bitch of this all Michael. I should hate you, I enjoy your pain, you left me to mine and I should do the same. But I can't. Because I still love you, as fucked up as that is it's true." She realized she was yelling now.

Michael stared at her, "I want you to hate me. I want you to never forgive me."

Sara dropped her hands in sudden exhaustion; a heavy smile touched her lips. "And that's why I can't hate you. Because when it comes right down to it, you always want what's best for others."

"Sara," he said stepping towards her, she didn't move.

"Uncle Mike!" LJ burst through the half open door. "Sara-" he stumbled, seeing them standing at the entrance, "Um-hey-sorry."

Sara turned quickly and began wiping at her face. Michael stepped in front of her and faced his nephew. "What is it LJ?"

"Um…Dad wanted me to tell you-" LJ tried to see Sara past his uncle. "That we're going to go back into town. He wants to know if you need anything."

Michael glanced quickly at Sara, "Decent food would be fine." He turned to LJ. "Is that all?"

"I guess." LJ completely missed Michael's dismissal. "Sara-can I get you anything?"

"No," her voice was horse but she covered and smiled at him. "I'm fine. Make sure you get some cleaning products, if they have any." She gave a playful look around. "I'm going to have my work cut out for me."

That seemed to relieve LJ who nodded and ran back the way he had come.

Michael stepped forward and closed the door then turned to her. "You don't have-"

"He's been through enough, Michael. He's just a kid. He doesn't need any more added stress." Sara bent to her bag, "If it's all right I'll stay for a few days."

"Of course," Michael said quickly.

Sara looked around, gripping her bag close, "Where should I-?"

"OH-sorry," he waved her down the hall. "You can stay in my bedroom-it's the cleanest."

"Thanks-" She stepped past him into the room.

"Sara-" He took a step close to her.

She turned quickly. "About before-" She met his eyes, "I think we'd better take this slow."

"Sounds like a plan." He agreed studying her.

Thanks for reading-plz review! Hopefully only one chapter left!


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks to Jen for cleaning up this chap!

_It was the day after they had slept together. Sara was sure she'd never be able to look at him without blushing; the worst part was that Linc was noticing…and commenting. _

_It started when Michael got out to pump gas, Linc turned in the drivers seat to smile at her. "So…get a good night's sleep."_

_She gave a polite smile, "Yeah-You?"_

"_Fine. You remember we're on the run right?" His smile widened._

"_Little hard to forget, Lincoln." She responded losing her smile._

"_So screaming out my brother's name isn't a very good idea." Lincoln cast a quick look at his brother before leaning closer, "But I am glad you have such fun. Kept me entertained." _

_Sara leaned forward with a smile, "You're a pervert." She slapped him lightly on the head._

"_Oh trust me, sweetie, from what I heard last night I'm hardly the perv." He turned back in his seat. _

_The door opened and Michael stuck his head in, "I'm going to pay, does anyone want anything?"_

"_I'll pay…we can't risk you being recognized. We are on the run." She said aiming the last part at Linc. Sara reached for the door handle as Michael nodded confused but moved to get into the car._

"_Hey Sara! Get me a coke!" Linc called lightly._

_Sara sent him a glare then walked into the station. _

"_What'd I miss?" Michael looked to his brother._

"_Dad was teasing Sara about your sexual escapades." LJ piped up from the back._

_Both men turned in shock. LJ hadn't said a word since they picked him up. He had spent the entire night crying then staring blankly at the ceiling. _

_Lincoln stared at his son then sent his brother a questioning look._

_Michael watched his nephew, Sara had told him not to make LJ feel awkward or make a big deal when he finally decided to speak._

"_What first words," Michael muttered turning in his seat. "So you're teasing Sara?"_

_Linc tore his eyes off his son, "Don't worry, she's fine."_

"_I know she's fine." Michael smirked._

"_She gives as good as she gets." Linc muttered tapping his fingers on the steering wheel._

"_Be nice to her." The younger brother ordered._

"_Hey, man, if she's gonna be family she's gonna have to learn to live with it." Linc threw at his brother._

"_Family?" Michael coughed, gripped the dashboard._

"_You're gonna marry her, uncle Mike?" LJ asked, he laid his arms on his knees and leaned it._

"_I-um-I don't-" Michael stumbled then ran a hand over his head. "Well-I mean-umm-I love her-but-um-"_

"_She's pretty hot dude, you'd be an idiot not to," Linc said glancing at his son for support. Lincoln gave a bright smile; this conversation was bringing LJ back._

"_I don't know dad," LJ leaned in more, "I think she might have a thing for me. Yesterday when she was giving me that 'physical' I think she was getting a little fiesty!" _

_Michael dropped his hands and sent his nephew a death glare. "She was not!"_

"_I think I agree with LJ, Mike. I mean she's way to hot for you." Linc said._

_Sara exited the station was a paper bag in her arms._

"_Damn, she is hot." LJ watched her._

"_Would you both please stop saying that?" Michael fumed._

"_Here I thought you stood for truth and justices. Now you want us to lie?" Linc teased, LJ let out a laugh._

"_Lie about what?" Sara asked, pulling open her door._

"_Nothing," Michael said quickly._

"_Michael wants us to stop saying you're hot." Linc turned to her._

_Sara dropped into her seat, "Pardon me?"_

"_Michael-" Lincoln started again._

"_Ok! Enough!" Michael slapped his brother's head._

_Sara shook her head then dove into the bag, she turned to LJ._

"_I wasn't sure what you would want so I just got you these," She pulled out a handful of candy. "Not very healthy for you, but-"_

_LJ smiled and accepted it, "Thanks Sara."_

_Sara stared in surprise, "Umm…Yeah." _

"_Where's my coke?" Linc asked as he started the car._

_Sara smirked to herself and threw a bottle of water on his lap._

"_What the hell is this?" He picked it up with one hand._

"_Water." Sara said as she touched Michael lightly on the shoulder then handed his a granola bar._

"_I wanted a coke." Linc tossed the water to Michael._

"_I got a coke." Sara said pulling it out of the bag._

"_Give it to me." Linc extended a hand to reach it._

_Sara saw Michael smile at her in the rearview mirror._

"_Michael did you want some?" She asked playfully._

_Michael turned, "No thanks, Sara."_

"_Um…LJ?" she offered him the bottle._

_LJ shook his head then ripped open a candy bar._

"_Lucky me," She unscrewed the top and took a sip._

Sara woke up to the sun streaming through her shades. She pulled the pillow tighter into her face and took a deep breath. She inhaled then froze, why did her pillow smell like Michael? She jerked herself up. She was sitting in his little room, in his bed.

Sara looked around then sighed, "Right-"

She had been in Panama for two days now. And for a vacation she was exhausted. LJ hadn't left her side for a moment; he'd been excited showing her how to surf then attempting to teach her. No matter where they went Sara felt Michael's eyes burn into her. They hadn't spoken directly to each other since the first day. It wasn't that she had been avoiding him, as it was that she to get her bearings before another confrontation.

Sara pulled herself out of his bed and stared at the little desk that sat in front of the window. It was covered in notebooks that were placed evenly. She couldn't help but smile even his clutter was organized. She spotted a notebook with 'House blueprints' written on it. Sara grabbed it and flipped it open.

The inside pages were covered in hand drawn blueprints with notes written in all corners.

Sara studied a page that appeared to be an extravagant living room, and then lifted her eyes to read the notes.

"A white carpet would look good but I'll let her decided."

Sara flinched. 'Her'? She prayed she was reading old blueprints that he had created for a client.

She turned the page to see a bedroom. Sara stared at the page before her in awe. It was the most stunning work she had ever seen. It was a master bedroom with it's own balcony, bathroom and a walk in closest. The bathroom could be a spa resort, a shower and a Jacuzzi; two sinks were just the beginning of his plans. Sara forced herself to read the notes, "Cream for the bathroom, but dark colors for the bedroom. Her favorite colors: Dark red, brown, forest green."

She flipped the page to see sketches of three children's rooms. 'Close enough we'll hear,'

Sara stomach clenched. She knew what this was.

She turned the page again; this time it was a lay out of backyard. 'The dog will need plenty of space to run; don't forget to put doggy door in kitchen. Maybe a dog isn't such a good idea-knowing her she'll probably want the damn thing to sleep with us when it gets scared and I'm not sharing her.'

Sara reread the sentence slamming the book closed and pulling in close to her chest. She extended it a little so she could stare at it. And there it was. Right on the center of the cover, "My dream house for Sara,"

How did she miss it? Sara hugged the book and laid her face on it. She allowed herself to cry. This is what she had been afraid of. That he still loved her, that he loved her as much as she loved him.

"Sara?" LJ was standing in the doorway.

Sara nearly dropped the notebook, "LJ-"

LJ stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

"He worked on those for hours. Sometimes he didn't sleep, it was kinda scary." LJ looked at the book. "He even set aside some money for it. But he never did anything more on it."

Sara looked down at it, "It's so detailed."

"He's like that." LJ muttered. "He's always devoted to the people he loves. Hell I think if he didn't have those notebooks he would have started tattooing his legs or something."

Sara let out a chuckle, "You're funny LJ."

"Anyways I just wanted to say goodbye if you were up."

"Goodbye?" Sara asked setting down the book.

LJ nodded, "Dad and I are going to town for the day. I would offer to have you come but we're going to a bad part of town."

Sara walked over to LJ, "Your sweet. Thanks. I'll be fine here alone."

LJ looked at his feet for a moment then back at her, "You won't be alone. Uncle Mike is going to be staying with you."

"Oh," Sara took a step back. "That's ok."

"Are you sure? Cause I could probably-" LJ started.

"LJ," Sara placed a hand on his shoulder. "You brought me down here for this. It'll be ok. I promise. I won't throw your uncle in the ocean and watch him drown or anything."

LJ smirked, "Not really what I'm worried about but that's good to know."

"Get out of here," She smiled.

"See ya tonight," LJ said as he closed the door behind him.

Sara walked over to the bed and dropped back in. She was going to have to face Michael today. If she liked it or not it was going to happened. Sara stared at the desk; she wondered how many of those notepads were full of the evidence of his love for her.

Sara flopped back onto the bed. Michael's room was nearly bare but the things that were in it had its place, everything was organized. Sara had no doubt that the house had been like that at one point. Before she told him about their child. She closed her eyes. She had seen the living room when she first walked in. She had seen the bottles and the file. The bottles scared her more. Michael wasn't the type to let go-he needed to be in control.

The fact that he had been drinking told her how much pain her words had wounded him-just how much he was in pain. Sara fought back tears.

Twenty minutes later Sara left the bathroom in search of Michael. She wanted to get this over with so she could decide her future.

Sara found Michael in his hammock in the yard. He was laying bare chested in a pair of pants with a book propped up on his chest.

Sara stared in awe for a moment; she hadn't seen his bare chest since the day in the infirmary. That brought up a whole other topic of heartache. She dropped her eyes to the sandals on her feet then back up. She gasped her hands together and took a step forward.

"Good morning," She said.

Michael jumped, his book sliding to the ground, his body jerking almost falling in suit.

"Shit," Michael muttered balancing himself on the hammock.

A hand flew to her mouth, "I'm so sorry." She whispered, holding a giggle.

Michael threw his feet over the side of the seat and reached for his book, he cast her a wry grin. "It's ok."

Sara smiled, she looked quickly around for a place to sit. She saw a little bench under a tree, a few feet from Michael's hammock.

"Do you mind?" she looked to the beach.

Michael shook his head savagely, "Of course not."

He watched her as she arranged herself on the chair then looked out to the ocean. Michael stared at her for a full minute before he pulled himself back on the swing then closed his book over his chest.

"Did you sleep well? I tried to keep Lincoln quiet, but whenever you mix booze and trying to teach LJ card games…well it doesn't go over very well." He smiled looking sideways at her.

"I know-I heard." They both chuckled. "LJ's a good kid, and for all his mistakes, Lincoln loves him that's all that really matters."

"I agree." Michael watched her out of the corner of his eye.

Sara leaned against the tree and stared out at the water, Michael turned his gaze away from her. For a moment both felt as if everything had fallen into place.

"So I hear you're my body guard for the day." Sara muttered looking sideways at him with a grin.

"Linc convinced LJ to relinquish the duty for a few hours." Michael agreed lightly.

Sara looked at his chest, the tattoos always amazed her, she had seen thousands of tattoos before but this was so different. Sara lifted her eyes to his face and found him watching her. She turned her face quickly, desperately trying to hide her blush

"What are you reading?" It was the only thing she could think of.

"War and Peace." He answered lifting the book to show her.

Sara looked back to see his bookmark hanging out near the end

"You're kidding."

"Second time around. Only gets better." He grinned

Sara laughed. "Ok-now I know you're weird."

"It's a good book," Michael defended himself, "You should read it."

Sara lifted a hand, "No, thank you. I started reading it when I was growing up, I think I made it past the first page."

Michael smiled, "Well if you ever want to finish it, you know where to find it."

Sara twisted her hands uncomfortably. That conversation was over. She heard Michael move in his hammock, trying to find just the right place.

"Nice hammock. Doesn't look to comfortable." She said. A second later she wanted to bite off her tongue. Hammocks were sore subjects with her-with them. She couldn't even look at one in the store without thinking of him

"All hammocks are comfortable, it's in their design." He doesn't seem to mind the topic, as long as they keep up the banter he doesn't seem to care if they talk about the weather.

"If you say so." She agreed quickly, anything to get off that subject.

He must have noticed her sudden shyness, he choose the next topic. It was something he had been biting at the edges to ask her about. "LJ also mentioned you found my blueprints."

"I'm sorry-I was honestly just looking for a tissue-" She muttered quickly, embarrassed that he knew. She stared at the ground.

"It's alright Sara. They were meant for you." He said gently.

"I still should have read them. They were private." She didn't want to think about what he had just said. _'They were meant for you'_ it made her heart jump and her stomach ache.

"You know I started them in Fox River. During the riots is when I started thinking about the layout. It wasn't easy…took me a while. I actually spent that train ride to Chicago-do you remember the train ride?" he stopped himself mid sentence.

"When I tried to kill Kellermen?" She smiled, "Yeah I remember the train ride."

It wasn't the only thing she remember…in fact Kellermen was barely part of her memory of that trip. That dirty bathroom consumed her thoughts. That dirty bathroom brought her more happiness then she ever experienced before or after consumed her thoughts.

"Well I was working on it then too." He muttered, hurt that she had thought of Kellerman.

Sara looked up at him, he was hurt that she wouldn't even knowledge them anymore. Sara felt her own guilt attack her again. He had spent the last two years planning their dream house; he had even started planning before their first kiss. And she treated him like he meant nothing to her. She dropped her head into her hands; she could feel Michael watching her. She bit back tears and looked up.

"I wanted a girl. So I could name her after my mom. But if it had been a boy I think I would have named him after you or your father or Lincoln-I don't know who." She blurted.

He stared at her for a moment, shocked that she brought up their child. It was only a matter of time but he hadn't expected it to be like this.

"I don't think we could have handled another boy around here." He allowed himself a smile.

Sara smiled in return. "A girl would have been nice…."He paused, "On the other hand-dating."

"Umm…. yeah and the teenage years-" Sara agreed, allowing herself to wonder.

"In Panama…"Michael added.

"That would have been tough." Sara said softly.

"I'd kill anyone who came within five feet of her." He said suddenly realizing how true that was.

"She would have been allowed to date, Michael." Sara sighed light heartedly.

"But only guys I pre-approved. And LJ could go with them-"

"You're horrible!" Sara laughed.

Michael turned to her, "We could have made it work though."

Sara dropped her eyes back to the ground. "I know."

"Do you think we still could?" he eyed her.

"I don't know. We can't just forget-" she stumbled, seconds before it had been light, almost relaxing, the tension was back again and she hated it.

"I'm not asking you to forget, I'm just asking for a second chance to prove how much I love you." He said softly, he moved his legs off the swing to face her.

"You know my favorite colours." She looked up at him

Michael blinked at the sudden change of topics. "Of course I do."

"I never told you them." She stated.

"I guessed."

"How? I know you're a genius but you can't guess someone's favorite colour." She was mad at him she realized. When did he get to know her so well?

"I studied your outfits back in the infirmary. The colours you would match together, the style you liked best." he began to explain-his tone gentle.

"Ok-ok I get it." She waved a hand for him to stop then stood herself. She took a few feet away from him, "I loved the blueprints. They're everything I ever wanted."

"Sara-" he stood and came up behind her.

He didn't touch her but she still felt her skin heat.

"I'm afraid that I'll forget her." Sara curled her arms around herself.

Michael rested both hands on either of her shoulders, "Sara," he turned her gently, "You won't." he saw the tears run down her face, he pulled her into his arms, "Sara we won't. No matter what happens to us we won't forget our child."

"But if I stay-" she gasped, "If I stay will you-I'll be-"

Michael tightened his arms around her, "You're holding on to the pain as much as you're holding on to her, Sara. Do you think she would want to be remember along with all the pain?"

Sara wrapped her arms around his back pulling herself closer to him.

She released a sob as he buried himself in her shoulder, "Sara-"

Michael allowed her to sob into his shoulder for what felt like forever. He placed light kisses on her brow as her tears rolled down his body. He stroked her hair, trying to calm her. Yet a part of him was relieved with the break down. She had let him in.

"I won't let you walk away, Sara." He whispered into her ear. "I can't,"

Sara rested her chin on his shoulder as her tears subsided. "I know."

"I won't let you go back just to live in pain. We won't forget get him or her, Sara. We can't." He leaned back so he could rest his forehead on her's. "It was our first child."

Sara stroked his neck with her hands; she gave a little smile at his tone.

"But we can't live in the past. I have. I've been living in my sins for the past two years and its cost me you. I won't do it again, and I won't let you either." His hot breath hit her mouth. Michael studied her mouth, he could feel himself falling, he wasn't going to be able to resist for too much longer.

"I'm scared Michael." She met his eyes sadly. "We didn't exactly have a good start-"

"I don't care, Sara. I've been living with so much, guilt, anger, sadness, regret—fear. I can't do it anymore. I just want to live with you. Let everything else go." He lifted a hand to stroke her cheek.

"Can we do that?" She whispered, a tear fell from her eye.

"We have to try." He ran a thumb under her eye.

Sara lifted her eyes to his, "No more games? No more lies?"

"No more leaving." He added. "No matter what happens we stay together. We fight it out together."

Sara smiled, perhaps the first genuine smile she had in two years. "Now there's a plan that could work."

Michael smirked, "And I didn't even need to get a tattoo." He leaned in to her.

Sara met him half way, and parted her lips welcoming him as her arms linked together holding her tightly against him.

The moment their lips pressed together Sara felt a wave of relief, it was like coming home. It was gentle a kiss that promised, for the first time, they would have a future.

She pulled away and gave a laugh, "About that hammock-"

"Yeah," he was gasping, his eyes on her swollen lips.

"Is there room for two?"

Ok so I'm working on a second part for this. I've already got some ideas written down so keep your eyes open-and if you have anything ideas of your own-please let me know.

Thanks for reading and commenting!


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